I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
