i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize