Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
