I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
