I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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