Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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