i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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