...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
