If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
