Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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