# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
