Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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