singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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