Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
