Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
3 2 1 whiskey
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
