This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
