Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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