i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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