You can't special order awesome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize