please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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