Soap is not a condiment
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
