But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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