Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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