i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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