Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just had sex bonerless
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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