I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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