i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
