last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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