yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
