i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
