In America we eat man semen.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
