Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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