I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
