K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
