and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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