just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
