dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
