his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
