I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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