i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
