I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't deserve a penis
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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