What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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