as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
