you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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