A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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