Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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