physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
