Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
