I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
