great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
