shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
