weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
