you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
