apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
