God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
