what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
