Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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