I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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