Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
